An interesting trend is starting to emerge in weddings. Once strictly a bride’s domain, wedding planning is increasingly involving both the groom and bride. In fact, according to Bridal Guide Magazine, more than 80 per cent of grooms are involved to varying degrees in the planning of their weddings. That’s a significant shift from, say, your parents’ wedding.
And why not? Weddings are a HUGE amount of work – infinitely more work than most brides realize when they start down the path of wedding planning. If you’re doing it yourself, there is plenty of stress, er fun, to go around, meaning having a good, strong extra pair of hands to help may not just be a nice thing to have, it could be downright essential.
Besides, a wedding is about two people celebrating their new beginning together. It may be your day, and of course you want it to be perfect, but here’s the thing – having him help with the planning doesn’t have to change any of that. In fact, it could make your life a lot easier.
Planning a wedding is a lot like a marriage. It involves communication and compromise.
When a groom and bride co-plan a wedding, it’s important to determine right up front who is in charge of what tasks. You can decide by consensus (all choices must be co approved by both but are sourced by the one or the other) or by absolutes (the groom and bride each have final say over their tasks).
As a rule, men are more interested in certain areas of wedding planning (hello food and music) and are often more than happy enough to stay well away from other areas (hello flowers and decors ).
Your groom may be passionate about a particular choice or direction regarding the wedding planning, and if that’s the case, you need to assess if taking it the direction you’d originally planned is really that important. That, really, is between the two of you – but even if you’re not crazy about his choices, do enjoy the fact that he wants to be part of the wedding and not just some guy who shows up on the big day in a tux with a ring.
Okay, sure, often enough the groom’s involvement in wedding planning has a lot to do with his type of personality. And there are guys out there who just don’t have the “wedding planner” gene. But even the ones who are ready to jump in are also willing to leave most final decisions to their future brides. Chances are, they have not grown up with the same expectations of what their wedding will be as you have – and they know that.
But there’s no reason why your groom shouldn’t have some fun too. In fact, a site called The Man Registry that launched a couple of years ago is getting a lot of buzz because it specializes in all things pertaining to grooms, including gifts for groomsmen, bachelor party planning and gifts that go beyond traditionally bride-centric gifts.
Whether it’s dessert choices or picking the first dance song, remember that a wedding is a wedding for two. No wedding is as beautiful as that of a a groom and bride who have worked together for a day that is special for everyone. Pull off a great wedding day that reflects both of you as you’d like it to, and you’ve taken a great first step to a wonderful, long and happy life together.